


Workplace Romances: A Guide for Dummies

by CarmenOnMonday



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, M/M, Office Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarmenOnMonday/pseuds/CarmenOnMonday
Summary: Or: Dele works in Marketing & PR, Eric is the most competent IT guy in the office, and, for some reason everybody wants them to hook up.
Relationships: Dele Alli/Eric Dier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41
Collections: Deledier Fic Exchange 2020





	Workplace Romances: A Guide for Dummies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [awkwardsorta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardsorta/gifts).



> For awkwardsorta, who requested Office AU with Spurs or England cameos. I hope you'll enjoy this little thing. I wish you happy holidays and all the best for the new year!

“You know he would totally buy you a drink if you asked, right?” 

“Huh?” Dele asked, surprised by the sudden presence of Trent by his side.

“Come off it. You know who. Him,” he nodded in the general direction of the bar, almost completely hidden by the crowd of half-drunk people impatiently waiting for their turn. “Edgar,” he added in lieu of confirmation.

“Eric,” Dele corrected absent-mindedly, catching sight of a familiar blond buzzcut right in front of the barman.

“See, you’re the only one using his real name. Or even knowing his real name,” he slurred a little. “Wait, it is his real name, right?”

“You’d know if you and the rest of ungrateful jerks from Finance bothered to learn who saves your arses when your computers act out.” Dele turned to Trent, noticing right away that his companion’s eyes were already slightly unfocused. It’s not even a surprise, people go crazy when they are offered… “Open bar, remember? No one is buying anyone’s drinks tonight.”

It was the only Christmas present their bosses offered them, so the staff didn’t really limit themselves.

“He can buy you a drink in the next place. Where you’ll go together. You know, after you leave in one taxi.” Trent winked.

Dele spluttered. “I’m not interested. Thank you very much.” 

“Yeah? Just like ‘not interested’ you were the first time he came around to the office?”

* * *

Generally speaking, Dele was rather good with computers (he was, after all, a boy in his twenties living in the twenty-first century), so it took almost a year after he first joined the company before he first needed urgent IT support. Obviously, when it finally happened, it was at the worst moment possible, right before he was supposed to join a videoconference with big bosses in New York to discuss the recent marketing strategy he had worked on for the past weeks; night guards had learned his name at that point because he was always the last one leaving the building. 

But because he had never before needed any help, when the screen blacked out, so did he.

“No. No, no, no, shit, bollocks!” he snarled. “James! JAMES!” 

His neighbour from the opposite side of the cubicle snapped his head up from where he was staring at the screen, without moving, for the past three hours. “What?! I’m busy-”

“My computer died! Do you have the number to IT?”

Maddison scrunched his brows, “Aren’t you supposed to email them? Like, file the official request with the ticket number and all that.”

“How can I email them when I don’t have a working computer?!” Dele turned to the boys on the other side of the corridor. “Trent. Tell me you have the number to IT.”

Trent, an intern at the time, raised his eyes from the newspaper he was reading. “I’m pretty sure IT guys are sitting in the office in India and it’s nighttime for them.”

“They sit on the third floor of this very building. I swear to god, Trent, if you don’t find me the right number in the next second, I will send you down there and-”

That seemed to work like a cold shower for him. “You can’t do that! I’m not your intern!”, Trent whined. “And the third floor? It’s the forbidden one, like in Harry Potter, I might never come back-”

“You’re useless,” Dele muttered, careful not to be overheard; he had enough on his plate even without an HR complaint. “Does anybody have contact details to IT?” he shouted into the open space. “Please?”

He saw some people looking at him like he was crazy, others shaking their hands in disbelief. The only sound which answered him was a cacophony of “shhhhhhhh!”.

Resigned, he had to resort to his own methods. One hand on the phone, the other pushing blindly several buttons in his laptop at once, he wished for a godly force to save him.

“Have you tried to turn it off and on again?” Monica, their resident copywriter asked. 

“Of course I have! Do you think I’m an idiot?”

A few other voices raised, and suddenly everyone was sharing their own experience with faulty devices at work, but seemingly none of them had ever asked for professional help, instead just faking it till they made it. 

“Just hit it hard on the desk. My screen went all blue yesterday, so I just went for it, and-”

“Put it into rice, maybe?”

Dele, still furiously pushing different combinations of buttons on the laptop, had to fight the urge to scream.

Son, sitting a few cubicles over, came by to take a look.

“Maybe your battery died, no?”

Dele groaned. While he appreciated the effort, none of these comments were actually any helpful. Typically, it was Dele helping the others out, not the other way round, and- 

Suddenly, there was a commotion by the lifts, and in the fast stride… his saviour arrived, in ripped jeans and a black t-shirt, with the stubble on his face and, the most importantly, a spare laptop under his armpit. 

Struggling to catch his breath as if he ran the whole way here, he stopped awkwardly next to Dele’s row but addressed his question to the Trend’s side of the corridor. “Somebody here needed IT help?” his voice cracked a bit when he spoke in a rush.

“So someone did know the right number…” James commented in the background.

Dele didn’t even bother to address that; he had to stop all of his instincts to stop himself from jumping the IT guy right there. “Yes! Yes, please, save me! I’ll give you my firstborn!” he babbled while the man turned, and instead of his muscular back, he was met with his slightly pink cheeks. 

“Hi there,” he whispered.

“It won’t work. I need to dial into the call in-” Dele gasped at the time his watch showed. “Three minutes.”

That seemed to wake the man up from his stupor. He moved more confidently into Dele’s space and manhandled him to give him space to work. In the next three minutes, he competently switched all the cables to the new laptop, managed to log Dele in and even open the right link to a videoconference. 

Dele watched starstruck as the man worked and then finally pushed on his office chair so Dele was back in front of the computer. IT guy then swiped his hands on his ripped jeans, gave him a blinding smile, and wished him “good luck” before winking - none of his previous shyness in sight - and disappearing into the direction of the lifts again.

“Hey, James, do you know how in films you can tell exactly the moment when one character falls in love with another? Look at our Dele, awwwww,” Trent quipped. “ _ Can you feel the love tonight…”  _ he started to sing off key.

That brought Dele back to reality. “Piss off!” he demanded, and then put his phone back into the pocket, put his speakers on, took three deep breaths and joined the videoconference. “Hi guys! Hi are you?...”

* * *

Dele had never been a party animal. He thought that should be noted and respected; although, to be fair, with it being a work party - the worst kind of all - he had more than enough reasons to remain as in control of his actions as humanly possible. The others seemingly didn’t have such inhibitions. Or any inhibitions.

The club was under ground, but Christmas lights put on almost every surface lightened up the space and people’s faces with colourful glow. Dele continued to scan the crowd from his secluded corner, the beer he sipped since the beginning of the party lukewarm already.

There, in a slutty elf costume, Winksy was swirling in the middle of the half-empty dance floor (they hired out the whole place just for them, but the turnout this year wasn’t that impressive); Ross, with a bottle of vodka he stolen right from the bartender’s hand, was pouring another shot for the whole HR team; finally, by the DJ’s station, Sissoko from Legal was flailing with his arms trying to force the poor man to take his phone and put on whatever “sick tune” he must’ve been listening on repeat the past few weeks. Other people from his department often complained about his self-proclaimed position of the floor DJ.

“Looking for someone?” a familiar voice boomed into Dele’s ear. 

“My team which abandoned me to fend for myself around all these stuck up Sales people? Maybe.”

“You know I meant-” Ben fumbled with words at the freezing cold glare Dele shot him. He was far too nice to truly commit to bothering Dele, unlike all the other folks from their Marketing and PR team who didn’t know when to stop. “Anyway. We’re there,” he pointed at the table. “Hugo asked me to come and get you, we’re choosing the worst and best dressed and need your expertise.”

Dele shrugged and followed him to one of the tables in the corner. He might’ve not been that excited for the work parties, but at least his guys were cool - as long as they didn’t choose him as the sole target of their jokes. 

Worst case scenario, he would stick to Ben who was still somehow impressionable and possible to sway. Or maybe just had an ounce of tact.

* * *

Ever since the first time Eric came around to help Dele with his technical problems at work, the guys just wouldn’t let it go. They took every opportunity to make fun of the, supposedly, dreamy eyes he made at the guy and how he seemed completely enamoured by his competence.

“It’s okay to have someone help us solve our problems,” Hugo, the director of the team said once, in his wise you-know-nothing-about-life-kids voice, cutting through the chatter around Dele, mere days after the first encounter. It would be a nice sentiment if it weren’t followed by snickers all around their two rows.

While the comments slowly died down, suddenly everyone in Dele’s closest proximity needed IT help; they got hold of the helpdesk number and so the Marketing team was visited almost daily by IT representatives. Never Eric, though, because lads didn’t know the name, and anyway, it would look positively suspicious if they asked for a specific guy.

Dele tried to remain unbothered by it all. Thanks to his middle school classmates, he was pretty used to being the one others made fun of, no big deal. Anyway, they weren’t really mean, it was all just banter. 

Innocent banter. Not touching the places where it hurt the most, not at all. 

So he ignored it the best he could, expecting them all to eventually move on. 

But if he glimpsed at the doors of the lift to see for himself if this time it would actually be Eric coming up to rescue his idiot colleagues who pretended to lose their mouse or disconnected the cable from the printing machine just to have someone fix it, and felt the pang of disappointment every time some other man came around... well, nobody needed to know. It wasn’t their business anyway.

It’d been weeks until Dele saw him in the office again. Ben, god bless the good, kind Ben, the only person who sometimes took Dele’s emotions into consideration, proposed a lunch out in the nearby cafe. Dele, who could barely see at this point in the day after staring at numbers evaluating his recent campaign, jumped at the opportunity, and soon they were both in the elevator going down. Their office was on the eight floor; on the fifth, the man who was in the elevator before them left; on the third, the doors opened and in walked him. 

Dele’s nightmare. Or maybe a different kind of dream.

Ben made a comically shocked face and let out a choking sound, but then, upon reflection, took a few steps to the back to make space for Eric.

“Lads.” He nodded, the shy smile back on his face, and then took a spot next to Dele.

Dele only hummed and made it his point not to look over, instead focusing on the poster promoting their fruit Thursdays. His whole face burned as he felt Eric’s gaze on his body but he refused to acknowledge it in any way.

On the second floor, some lady walked in, and they were suddenly a bit closer than before. Magically, those two remaining floors seemed like a huge distance to travel on the lift, as Dele wished any uncomfortable thoughts away and tried his best to remain unbothered. 

Once they were on the ground floor, Dele stepped out so quickly as if he was in the hurry and didn’t spare Eric (who was still inside the lift, on his way to the server room on the level -2) a single look.

Ben caught up with Dele by the entrance room. “Dude! Dude! He totally checked you out!”

Dele ignored this comment and strode towards the cafe. 

“I’ll buy you lunch if you don’t go around blabbing about whatever you thought you saw,” he offered, not ready for another round of stupid comments.

“I’m a good friend, I’m offended that you think you need to bribe me!” Ben complained. “I’ll take chicken teriyaki.”

* * *

“There he is, my man!” Son, living up to his graphic designer role in the team as he was sporting a hideous Christmas sweater, cheered while Dele and Ben reached the table populated by the Marketing team and their significant others. “Come, come, sit next to me!”

With almost everyone else from the team coming with a significant other, perpetually single Son was Dele’s best option. 

He put his arm around Sonny’s back in a heartfelt hug (honestly, not many as good men out there as this one) but yelled to Hugo on the other side of the table: “We might have the winner of the worst outfit right here! Tragic!”

“Hey!” Son kicked him lightly on his shin.

“Actually,” Harry Kane started, “I think that title might go either to Lamela,” He pointed at Erik from the Security office who sported a weird combination of gold and silver sequins, “or your bae.”

There went Dele’s good mood. He didn’t like the tone in which Harry said it at all; the slight amusement in his voice rubbed Dele the wrong way.

“No idea who you mean,” he answered, raising his chin proudly.

“He’s right there with Lamela,” Harry noted. “Eddie, right?

“No, it’s Eric!” Trent jumped in, as always orbiting closer to their team. The office rumour said that he was looking for a transfer to their department for a while. If Dele had any say in it, he would let him rot in Finance for the next five years.

“So you know his name!” Ben shouted. 

“I’m a decent person, I know his name.”

Not really a fan of being in the centre of the attention, Dele took sudden interest in the content of the beer bottle, his best companion this whole night. God, he was starting to regret not having any other companion with himself to shield him from stupid comment. But that would issue another round of different kind of comments.

The girls around - girlfriends and wives - seemed to notice the change in the air and started to chatter about the wife of their big boss, Mourinho, and her ball gown she wore to the party.

Dele was taking his phone out of the pocket when another voice joined the cursed conversation.

“Hey, do you remember that one time Dele forgot his lunch and the IT guy shared with him his own?”

* * *

It was one of the days - not as recurring as in the past, but still happening from time to time. Nothing significant happened to trigger it, but Dele woke up feeling a bit under the weather, his thoughts slightly more hazy than typically, so the only effort he made this morning was picking the most comfy, oversized hoodie, the sleeves of which covered the tips of his finger. He could tell he would spend the day fiddling with them.

At work, Dele went through motions. The others seemed to notice his aloofness and left him alone until lunchtime - on Wednesdays, they all ate together, in the kitchen between west and east side of the eight floor. It was their team ritual; any other day, they went out in whatever configurations they wanted or were free to spend the lunch break doing whatever else. But on Wednesdays, they all gathered together, with their homemade leftovers brought in whatever containers they had. Harry Kane often had the school lunch set with princesses his daughter grew out of. James was weirdly attached to the one with Leicester crest on it despite it barely holding together at that point. Dele had one with dogs he claimed as his own after finding it in the corner of the cabinet at home. 

Dele followed the team to the kitchen accepting his fate. At least it was finally a break and he could face the emptiness in his mind without the inherent guilt of not performing at work up to his standard.

He was staring at the inside of the fridge when he realised there was nothing there for him to look for. He forgot to take any food with himself. 

He shut the door with force and stepped away, not even angry, just purely resigned. In his mental preparations for the embarrassment of sitting there with the team and staring at them eating, while he considered whether skipping lunch would be better - especially with how they already knew there was something wrong, could he deal with making a scene really? - he didn’t notice the person not matching the typical eight-floor-kitchen landscape passing him and going to the other fridge.

“Damn,” the scratchy voice said loudly next to Dele. “My mum overdid it with food this time.” Eric shook his head while he brought out two containers.

He looked around.

“Oi, mate,” he started awkwardly and still far too loudly. People were starting to look. “I know it’s weird, but… Maybe you’d like some…? I have a thing about wasting food. Wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Any chance you could take it off my hands?”

He pushed the container, with heavenly looking food, into Dele’s direction. He could hear gasps and snorts in the background but couldn’t take his eyes off the box.

Eric took a step closer, and muttered under his breath, just for Dele, while leaned down just a bit: “Made it worse, haven’t I?” he asked, guilt painting his voice.

Dele swallowed painfully and blinked a few times to gain his composure.

“Thank you,” he whispered, not seeing anything other than the blue of Eric’s eyes and his earnest face.

* * *

It seemed like the game of best/worst dressed game was long forgotten and now it was time for “who-could-bring-up-the-most-embarrassing-memory-from-Dele’s-past”. Like Dele’s private life was all that they all lived for.

“Ah! Or that one time Dele got stuck with his dream guy in the closet with supplies?”

“And how about when Eric was passing Dele’s desk on the way to HR’s cubicles and he couldn’t take his eyes off his face so he tripped? He was mortified!”

“My favourite moment was when they were paired for the trust exercises on our last away day and how Dele just went for it, and Eric caught him in his arms, and then they looked at each other as if they were ready to go for it right there!”

“But they never have!”

“Children! Enough!” Hugo ordered in his best authoritative voice.

Dele was typing on his phone furiously when the empty spot on his right side got suddenly filled by his boss whose arm found it’s place behind Dele's shoulders.

“Dele. They’re being stupid. I won’t tolerate it anymore,” he promised, his presence calming, as always, but not enough to balm furious Dele’s hurt feelings. 

**i’m leaving. will be back at the apartment soon**

“There is something I wanted to say though,” Hugo stated once Dele lifted his gaze from the phone. His boss looked suddenly uncomfortable. Only then did Dele notice the smell of alcohol on his breath. “In case it’s an issue… I just wanted to… Well.”

“Hugo! You promised!” Kane shouted in the back.

“Okay. As my deputy was saying... You need to be aware that there’s no rule banning workplace relationships in our office.” It seemed like he was trying to be genuinely helpful, but Dele only saw red. 

“Are you kidding me?!”

The guilt on Hugo’s face gave Dele some sudden satisfaction.

“Just wanted you to know you don’t need to be stressed about… arrangements… should any of this was actually true… but sorry! Sorry.”

“Even Hugo can’t bear you being so helplessly in love with the guy and still painfully single,” Trent quipped.

“I’m not freaking single!” Dele screeched. “Thanks for asking!”

That seemed to shut them all up.

“Wha-what?” Ben looked shocked.

“I’m not single, and this is my boyfriend texting me.” Dele waved his phone in front of the lads. “So I think I’ll be off. Can’t look at your faces anymore, idiots.” 

Dele used his bottle of beer to add some more flair to his exit as he put it down loudly on the table, got away from Hugo’s side hug and walked away from the team, not even sparing them a second glance.

He waved his way through the crowd on the dancefloor and was already in the door leading to the cloakroom when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Ready to fight whoever thought it was a good idea to go after him he turned abruptly, only to be surprised by his rumoured partner in crime.

“Already?” Eric asked, surprised or maybe even worried by Dele’s sudden exit.

“Not a fan of work parties, I’m not sure if you’re aware. Pleasure and work shouldn’t be mixed,” Dele said bitterly, the words he got used to saying surprisingly striking some painful note in his heart. “I had enough.”

Eric took a step back and Dele instinctively followed him. The man glanced at the table in the corner. “All of your teammates are staring at us right now.”

Dele just shook his head. “Whatever, they already have opinions. Sooooo many of them.”

“But I won’t give them more reason to gossip.” Eric put one hand on his neck, looking uncomfortable, as if he was dying to put it somewhere else but couldn’t. Wouldn’t. 

Dele chuckled with no amusement. “Yeah, well, looks like this ship has sunk a long time ago.”

They shared a loaded look, taking a moment to just observe each other while the world continued to spin around them to the rhythm of a club music.

Eric seemed to weigh his words when he cut through the - relative - silence, a few worry lines appearing on his forehead. “You know I respect your- decision- but I don’t mind-”

“But I mind! I told you so many times!” Dele snapped, and then quickly retracted. “Shit, sorry, you’re not at fault here.” He groaned. “It’s my call, I know, which isn’t even fair to you because we’re both in it together, but I do care what they think... Or I did care. I don’t even know anymore, they exhausted me tonight,” he finished a bit helplessly.

“Okay, go,” Eric said simply. “Just leave. I can see you’re dying to get away from here.”

“Not from you,” Dele whispered, but he could see that Eric heard him.

In the corner of his eye, Dele could see that Winksy was now dancing to “Single ladies” up on the table, completely wasted. And here they were, having their own private conversation, which they never allowed themselves to have in any place where they were seen as professionals.

Eric swallowed, and Dele watched his Adam’s apple move. “I know,” Eric said, suddenly the one keeping them in check. “But this is work. So just go. I’ll see you at home. This is not the right time for this.”

Dele wanted to laugh, feeling a bit hysterical. What was in that one single beer he drank?

“But, God, maybe it is. Maybe it is the right time. I’m so  _ tired _ , Eric. And we’re not doing anything wrong! What was I even thinking? I’m not ashamed of myself. Or you. Please tell me you know that, Eric, you must know that.”

They discussed it many times in the past, but Dele, who felt like he lost his ground, was suddenly desperate for validation. 

Eric shook his head, a picture of pure fondness. “Of course I know that.” He glanced around before opening his mouth again, whispering softly: “Baby, how much have you had to drink?”

“Almost nothing,” Dele muttered, flustered at the term of endearment. Even after all this time, still. No wonder they noticed.

“If it’s about your colleagues, they are probably just a bit too pissed. They will be back to normal tomorrow in the office,” Eric said calmly, but Dele could see some spark in his eyes. “Don’t bend to their needs.”

“You know I never do. But maybe… Maybe it’s not even worth it anymore? What was I even thinking? That we will hide a relationship from a bunch of jerks I spend eight hours every day with?” Dele leaned on the wall next to the doors, suddenly overcome by the idea of wrapping this whole farse up. Could he actually do it? 

It would definitely be more fair to Eric.

Would he stop hating all these work social gatherings if he was allowed to spend them by his side? 

But the man still remained determined to keep his part of the deal. “We did hide it, for a long time,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, with outstanding results. Hugo just gave me a talk about workplace relationships.”

“I thought there was no ban…?!” 

“There isn’t. He told me this so I would finally make a move on you.” 

Eric seemed surprised. “So we hid it _ too well  _ and it backlashed? Wow, royally screwed that one up.”

Dele could feel the gaze of his colleagues on them both as he slowly unwound from all the tension he carried around the entire evening. He still believed it was healthy to keep his home and work life separate but he could see how perhaps it was more important at the beginning - it wouldn’t help anyone to advertise the fact that at the time he joined the company, he had been in a long-term relationship with the director of IT department at the said company, much higher in the ranks than him. Dele was just far too independent to face comments undermining his own achievements and ability to get a job at the top bank. And then, it just never felt like a good time to come clean. 

Eric agreed. He always wanted to protect him, even from stupid comments. Well, that one didn’t work out too well for them.

“They noticed the sexual tension, I guess. The comments got ridiculous tonight, you know? I could totally file a complaint to HR.”

“Maybe you should,” Eric noted, hardening slightly, still a safe distance from Dele. “That’s not okay, we do not tolerate any bullying or harassment here.”

“Don’t talk all bossy to me or it will end like that one time in the closet with supplies.”

Eric’s eyes flushed with desire. “Go now, and I’ll follow you in five minutes, or I swear to god I will not be above finding some closet on the premises.”

“How about… First… We give them some Christmas miracle? Although now they think I have a boyfriend at home... I snapped at them and told them that before leaving.”

Eric grinned, but seemed to slowly accept what Dele planned, like he could read his mind. “So you’ll cheat on him with me? In front of the whole office?!”

“Yeah, the boring hubby at home no one knew about, so dull that I had to look for an alternative in the office. But up till now I was still too faithful to actually make a move.”

“How honorable of you. He appreciates it very much.” Eric asked cheekingly, but then got serious again. “That’s not the way to put the stop on the gossip if they really see it as you cheating. And don’t do this for them, please.”

“Not for them, they don’t deserve shit. But. It has been brought to my attention that there’s no ban on workplace relationships in my company, and maybe, perhaps, I’m ready to use that knowledge in practice?”

“Are you? Really?” Eric’s blue eyes glinted in the glow of the Christmas lights.

Dele mulled it over in his head. 

Was he? 

“Yeah. We’ve taken it too far. It’s been years since I started to work here. I guess it’s time I finally start to put down the roots.”

Dele took one tentative step towards Eric and waited for his answer.

“What a coincidence,” the man said, pointing up at a mistletoe hanging above the entrance, just a step from where they stood.

“Oh, no freaking way. They were joking my life was like a rom-com, but this is just too much.”

They took the step together anyway, landing directly under the mistletoe.

“Are you sure?” Eric asked for the last time, as people started to pass them from both sides, irritated by them blocking the exit and coincidentally pushing them even closer together.

“Shut up and give me my Christmas kiss, or I’ll take revenge on all your precious plain t-shirts, I know where you keep them.”

Eric shook his head and manhandled Dele into his arms.

Their lips met in a kiss just like any of thousands they shared in the past - but maybe it was the glow of Christmas lights, maybe the sound of “All I want for Christmas for you” booming from the speakers, maybe cheering coming from the Marketing team watching them for the distance, or maybe just pure relief at not having to pretend anymore, and there not being any cheating involved whatsoever, clear situation, just two guys in love - but they could definitely feel some magic in the air.

And amid all Dele’s incoherent thoughts one stood out - he would never again need to pretend that he didn’t have his own personal IT guy wrapped around his finger.

**Author's Note:**

> [dieretmoi.tumblr.com](https://dieretmoi.tumblr.com/)


End file.
